A book to study and think about

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One of the books that I am currently reading is Bonds That Make Us Free by Terry Warner. I have read parts of it in the past, but this is one of those books that you could re-read every year and still glean something new, and your relationships would be better because of it. It’s also the kind of book that needs to be read slowly, giving you time to think about it and apply it in your life.

“To the extent that we can come to see others differently, we can undergo a fundamental change, a change in our being, a change of our emotions and attitudes, a change of heart.”

I’ve been typing and deleting this post for the last 30 minutes, trying to put into words what I have learned in the first 100 pages. But without a little background in self-betrayal and self-deception and collusion and…it’s hard to summarize the book. So go read it, and then we can talk about it and learn more together!

I’ve posted before about resources from the Arbinger Institute (of which Terry Warner is a founding member). I would also recommend reading Leadership and Self-Deception.

But in the meantime, without having to buy anything, you can check out the online resources of the Arbinger Institute. I thought this article, The Parenting Pyramid, was great information for any parent. A good reminder that before I correct my children, I must first teach them what is appropriate. And before I can be an effective teacher I have to consider the quality of my relationship with my child. And then I better take a look at the quality of my relationship with my husband. But before all that, I need to take a good look at myself–or my “fundamental way of being”. Just go read the article, it makes a lot more sense then I just did!

A Nurturing Nature

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“When you observe kind and gentle mothers in action, you see women of great strength. Their families can feel a spirit of love and respect and safety when they are near her as she seeks the companionship of the Holy Ghost and the guidance of His Spirit. They are blessed by her wisdom and good judgment. The husbands and children, whose lives they bless, will contribute to the stability of societies all over this world. Grateful daughters of God learn truths from their mothers and grandmothers and aunts. They teach their daughters the joyful art of creating a home. They seek fine educations for their children and have a thirst for knowledge themselves. They help their children develop skills that they can use in serving others. They know that the way they have chosen is not the easy way, but they know it is absolutely worth their finest efforts.

“Daughters of God know that it is the nurturing nature of women that can bring everlasting blessings, and they live to cultivate this divine attribute. Surely when a woman reverences motherhood, her children will arise up and call her blessed (see Prov. 31:28).

“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”

Margaret D. Nadauld, “The Joy of Womanhood,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 14–16

Fun with Felt

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In my web research (doesn’t that sound more official than blog reading?!) I’ve seen some fun ideas for using felt. One day I decided to try making felt pizza, using this pattern I saw at Serving Pink Lemonade.


All you need are scissors and felt. I drew some circle templates in a publishing program on my computer, printed them off and started cutting. This project only took me about 30 minutes of prep time (done while watching an episode of LOST).

The Ant Bug really enjoys this. Our pizza included crust, sauce, cheese, ham, pineapple, green peppers and black olives. The first day she played with it for over an hour, making every family member their own personal pizza.

I just noticed that there is also a great pattern for a felt sandwich at Serving Pink Lemonade, so I’ll be cutting that out next!

While we’re on the topic of food, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is a great book to read along with this activity. There is also a movie inspired by the book which hits theaters next week.

Another day the Ant Bug and I pulled out the felt again and got creative. We cut out various shapes and started making creatures. Here are just a few of our creations, complete with googly eyes.


What can you and your child make with felt?

Love and pray for your children

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“My brothers and sisters, may we strive to live closer to the Lord. May we remember to “pray always lest [we] enter into temptation.”

“To you parents, express your love to your children. Pray for them that they may be able to withstand the evils of the world. Pray that they may grow in faith and testimony. Pray that they may pursue lives of goodness and of service to others.

“Children, let your parents know you love them. Let them know how much you appreciate all they have done and continue to do for you.”

Thomas S. Monson, “Until We Meet Again,” Ensign, May 2009, 112–14

My "To Do" List

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I like to make lists. I find it highly satisfying to cross something off my list. It just feels good.

Today I am going to share my weekly “To Do” list with you. It’s taken me awhile to get to this point, but I’ve found a system that works really well for me. At some point I realized that I do a lot of the same things the same day each week. Monday is always my sheets/towels laundry day, as well as Family Home Evening. Tuesday is my grocery shopping day. Wednesday is always playgroup. You get the picture.

In order to save myself a little paper and writing time I created a master weekly list. Under each day I penciled in the activities that I usually need to get done that day. Here is a peek at two of my days.

Monday

  • Piano lesson: 2:15-3
  • DR: Parenting/Families/Mother quotes and scriptures
  • FHE
  • Menu plan, grocery list
  • Laundry towels, sheets
  • NM Blog: LDS quote, scripture of the week

Friday

  • DR: General Conference talks
  • Nature Walk/Park Play
  • Primary reminder calls
  • Finances
  • Date Night

I typed up my schedule and stuck it in a sheet protector. On Sunday evenings I sit down with my dry erase marker and add in anything extra for the week (ie. Dr. appointments, Enrichment activities, library days, etc). I left room on the right hand side to write in anything else I need to work on that week. I use a magnetic clip to keep my list in a prominent place on my fridge so I can refer to it easily. Sunday evening I wipe it all clean and start over again.

Here is a visual for you, part-way through the week.


A few suggestions for making your own “To Do” list.

Everyone has different priorities, so take some time to think about yours. For me, after my husband and children, there are 4 major areas that demand a portion of my time.

  • Household tasks including laundry, meal planning, shopping, finances and cleaning
  • Tasks related to my calling in the Primary
  • Tasks related to my work as a piano teacher
  • Tasks related to my Nurture Mama blog

Think about what your days are like, and plan your schedule accordingly. Figure out when is the best time each day for you to get things done. For some, it might be early in the morning before your children wake up. Or it might be during naptime. Or you might be a night-owl and work best late at night.

I plan to get most of my work done between the hours and 8-10pm, after my children are in bed and before I head to bed myself. That is my time and I can be quite protective of it. I schedule one of the above activities for each weekday evening. I still have to be flexible because some weeks might be busier when it comes to Primary tasks, or preparing for a piano recital, or whatever. But I have a basic guideline to follow for organizing my time.

About cleaning. I never clean the house after 8pm unless absolutely necessary. Except for the dishes, usually whatever didn’t get done can wait until the next day. My children have learned not to expect me to play with them until after the dinner dishes are done, and they usually tag along beside me while I clean the bathrooms or vacuum the floor. I want them to see and learn that it takes work to run a home, and I also deserve some time in my day when I don’t have to think about cleaning.

Don’t forget your most important priority–your family. My husband and I usually spend our evenings with each of us on a computer (he’s a busy graduate student). But we’re in the same room so it is easy for us to take a break and talk with each other. Friday night is reserved for our date night–usually it’s spent at home, but whatever we’re doing we’re doing it together (we like snuggling up with popcorn and movies). Mornings (and a lot of the other time too) are spent with my girls. We read together, we clean together, we go to the park, we play together.

I am far from an expert when it comes to organizing, but I just thought I would share some of the things that have worked well for me. There is a lot of information available online (believe me, you can spend hours reading about this stuff!). My two favorite organizing blogs are Simple Mom and Organizing Your Way. They both are full of good ideas, so check them out for further reading.

Give your children faith

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“As parents, we have been commanded to teach our children “to understand the doctrine of … faith in Christ the Son of the living God” (D&C 68:25). This requires more than merely recognizing faith as a gospel principle. “To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone” (Bible Dictionary, “Faith,” 669). True faith must be centered in Jesus Christ. “Faith is a principle of action and of power” (Bible Dictionary, 670). It requires us to do, not merely to believe. Faith is a spiritual gift from God that comes through the Holy Ghost. It requires a correct understanding and knowledge of Jesus Christ, His divine attributes and perfect character, His teachings, Atonement, Resurrection, and priesthood power. Obedience to these principles develops complete trust in Him and His ordained servants and assurance of His promised blessings.

“There is no other thing in which we can have absolute assurance. There is no other foundation in life that can bring the same peace, joy, and hope. In uncertain and difficult times, faith is truly a spiritual gift worthy of our utmost efforts. We can give our children education, lessons, athletics, the arts, and material possessions, but if we do not give them faith in Christ, we have given little.

“Faith is kindled by hearing the testimony of those who have faith” (Bible Dictionary, 669; see also Romans 10:14–17). Do your children know that you know? Do they see and feel your conviction? “Strong faith is developed by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ” (Bible Dictionary, 669).

Kevin W. Pearson, “Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ,” Ensign, May 2009, 38–40

Feet, Feet, Feet

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The Book
The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss

Be sure to move your right foot and left foot as you read this with your children for added excitement.

The Song
Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes

Try singing it really slow, then faster and faster for added giggles.

The Activity
Trace your child’s feet, then let them them color and decorate it as they like.
I used this cute foot punch to make lots of colorful little feet, which the kids then glued on their picture. It turned into a good fine-motor-skill activity.

LDS Speakers at World Congress of Families V

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The Fifth World Congress of Families was held recently in Amsterdam. Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles was there to represent the church and he gave an excellent address. Here are a few highlights from his speech:

“On all sides, the family is under attack. Many wonder if the institution is no longer needed. Our response is certain. If there is any hope for the future of nations, that hope resides in the family. Our children are our wealth; our children are our strength; our children are indeed our future!”

“Dear friends, future happiness and even the future of nations is linked to children. Families with children need to be re-enthroned as the fundamental unit of society. We simply must value children more than we do! Without a new generation to replace the old, there is no wealth; without families, there is no future.”

“Children come from the union of a man and a woman. The happiest and most secure children come from happy and secure marriages of fathers and mothers. History and contemporary studies have shown that marriage of a husband and a wife, with both contributing their distinctive natural traits to the family, provides the ideal context within which to rear productive, compassionate, and moral individuals.”

You can read the full-text of his address here.

Elder Nelson’s wife, Wendy Watson Nelson, also spoke, along with Sheri Dew. Links to their inspiring talks are below.

Wendy Watson Nelson: “Not Even Once!”

Sheri L. Dew: “‘Resurgence of Moral Virtue’ Is Necessary”

Parenting is unselfish service

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“A familiar example of losing ourselves in the service of others—this one not unique to Latter-day Saints—is the sacrifice parents make for their children. Mothers suffer pain and loss of personal priorities and comforts to bear and rear each child. Fathers adjust their lives and priorities to support a family. The gap between those who are and those who are not willing to do this is widening in today’s world. One of our family members recently overheard a young couple on an airline flight explaining that they chose to have a dog instead of children. “Dogs are less trouble,” they declared. “Dogs don’t talk back, and we never have to ground them.”

“We rejoice that so many Latter-day Saint couples are among that unselfish group who are willing to surrender their personal priorities and serve the Lord by bearing and rearing the children our Heavenly Father sends to their care. We also rejoice in those who care for disabled family members and aged parents. None of this service asks, what’s in it for me? All of it requires setting aside personal convenience for unselfish service. All of it stands in contrast to the fame, fortune, and other immediate gratification that are the worldly ways of so many in our day.”

“The values of the world wrongly teach that “it’s all about me.” That corrupting attitude produces no change and no growth. It is contrary to eternal progress toward the destiny God has identified in His great plan for His children. The plan of the gospel of Jesus Christ lifts us above our selfish desires and teaches us that this life is all about what we can become.“

Dallin H. Oaks, “Unselfish Service,” Ensign, May 2009, 93–96

Hands

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The Book
Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb by Al Perkins

The Song
Where is Thumbkin?
Where is Thumbkin?
Here I am, here I am.
How are you today, sir?
Very well, I thank you.
Run away, Run away.
(Repeat with Pointer, Middle Man, Ring Man and Small Man)

The Activity
A touch and feel sensation station.

Gather a variety of objects and put them in small containers. Here is what I used: pompoms, feathers, craft beads, rotini noodles, rice, oats, yogurt, sugar, and an ice cube. You can use whatever you have on hand, just look for a variety of textures.

I blindfolded my children and then one at a time let them touch and feel the contents of each container. We talked about how it felt (Is it hard or soft? Does it feel wet or dry? etc) and sometimes the Ant Bug was able to guess what it was (but that wasn’t a requirement).

Afterward we traced our hands and decorated them with finger paint.

Without prompting, the Ant Bug even added finger numbers to her hands, something she’s learned from piano lessons.