One of the books that I am currently reading is Bonds That Make Us Free by Terry Warner. I have read parts of it in the past, but this is one of those books that you could re-read every year and still glean something new, and your relationships would be better because of it. It’s also the kind of book that needs to be read slowly, giving you time to think about it and apply it in your life.
“To the extent that we can come to see others differently, we can undergo a fundamental change, a change in our being, a change of our emotions and attitudes, a change of heart.”
I’ve been typing and deleting this post for the last 30 minutes, trying to put into words what I have learned in the first 100 pages. But without a little background in self-betrayal and self-deception and collusion and…it’s hard to summarize the book. So go read it, and then we can talk about it and learn more together!
But in the meantime, without having to buy anything, you can check out the online resources of the Arbinger Institute. I thought this article, The Parenting Pyramid, was great information for any parent. A good reminder that before I correct my children, I must first teach them what is appropriate. And before I can be an effective teacher I have to consider the quality of my relationship with my child. And then I better take a look at the quality of my relationship with my husband. But before all that, I need to take a good look at myself–or my “fundamental way of being”. Just go read the article, it makes a lot more sense then I just did!